time to understand time and its lengths, its spans; quick and infinite probably not fully - not even when i die even though i will know the entirety of human time then...
...for now, instantaneous gratification is ruining me i see how soon works that much is clear but longer is harder to conceive as i age, longer becomes shorter and as such, my ability to withstand times ticks increases
for now, seconds are days i need days to be seconds i will wait and wade waist deep through time until then whenever then may be
i finally attached the little blue bell to my bike. i found it in the bike cage when i first moved here. the attachment is broken. so i duck-taped it on. it makes a great bike bell ring sound. riding in the dark on my way downtown, i rang the bell: as i passed walkers. as i passed valets. or for no reason - i laughed out loud at the ring!
i met m.berg and j.kupsco at morrissey. had a guiness and a 'buzzcock' sandwich. smoked a cigarette out front. some guy who couldnt speak english asked for a light. he was well dressed and dark skinned. he lit his smoke and walked off. then he came back. he mumbled about 'pussy' to me. what dude? mumble mumble 'pussy' mumble mumble. so i said: ask her --> pointed at a girl walking by dressed to piss off her dad. threw my half smoked cigarette in the street and walked off.
taylor and the rest of her band played the yale. its like symbia version 2.0 they played that 'i think youre crazy' song. i could relate. i was invited by my neighbor. she smoked two joints out back between sets. i guess i smoked them with her.
i stopped at 7-11 for a fix on my way home. jalepeno cheddar taquitos. its almost midnight. theyve been on those silver heat rollers ALL DAY. (when i pull a 7-11 pitstop, i always just dump my bike out front. i just ride up and get off and let it go. like right in front of the sliding glass doors. because my transaction wont take long.) bums usually laugh about it. i noticed my rear tire was still spinning as i payed for my taquitos. when i came out, there was one bum. i dug into my jeans coin pocket (i use it for coins here in canada)! i asked him how he was doing. 'oh, not good man, theres this guy who wants to fight me.. ..im not much of a fighter.. ..' so i said: fuck that guy, heres 4 dollars. i rang my bike bell one more time. then i rode home.
inspiring - western. so was the band that opened the set; i bought them each a budweiser. skipped the headliners, though. how come budweiser is never on tap? i dont think they liked it, but they drank it. someday, if youre lucky, you can see all of my photographs.
now, random photographs --> leaving chicago:
too bad i own so much bullshit, wouldnt it be awesome to let it all go.
except maybe my records.. ..i almost won ugly casanova -sharpen your teeth today
i miss my plants.
i said, i miss my plants. travel bird cage.
16 non-stop solo driving hours later, january first, 2008, im in love with foothills, my wyoming foothills, i am glad i left on the first of the year it was monumental.
the only reason i decided to go to chicago then champaign was music. it was one of the most revealing and inspirational times of my life. a great feeling indeed, adding to a developing song. filmer had been playing this looping riff.. ..chad brings in this insane hi-hat roll.. ..rae's bass and lyrics define the soul.. ..and i had heard their song before. so, i added single note accents.. ..picking with a barbie comb. i wish this was my job. listen below: first try.. ..magic!
rather than vote for the republican ticket this year, im doing this:
i mostly just drank palin and played guitar in champaign. but chad had a hi-speed camera. as filmer and chad and i rounded the corner to the backyard... ...rae was in mid stride, torpedoing a watermelon at the concrete. an awesome thing to turn the corner and see..
so i figured i needed something smashed on my face. it took a few tries, and it still isnt perfect.
rachel has bad aim (was too kind to hit me in the face?) they got the cigar from deane. deane hates south koreans.
oh yeah, i lost my digital camera on the plane coming home. too bad, cause, well, whatever. _________________________________________________________________
this is palin. filmer and i had gone to the corner store for some beer. i saw camouflage and hunter orange lettering. i skated back with a case over my head. there was no turning back.
(thanks to rachel reed - we are getting miles out of it indeed)
i had enrolled and was going back to school at campbell county high school. it was the north campus, but it had grown to include that grocery store and strip mall. i got there just in time to be late.
i had to go to one of the new buildings, building 'D'. as i headed there, i thought i could gain access to the building from the roof. there were large a/c-type contraptions on the roof. there was a leatherman multi-tool and it was used to take off the safety covers. but i started by loosening the nuts which secured the covers by hand. once the contraption was open, i analyzed the system of moving parts inside: an inline 6 cylinder diesel engine compressing air and water into steam. but this wasn't even the roof of building 'D'.
i carried on to my classes. they were 'just okay'. there were a lot of politics. someone was in almost all of my classes. i could foresee them as becoming a close friend that year. in one class, we had to shoot at these mouths on a huge screen. it was a large lecture hall, stadium style, and i was in the back. i guess we basically had those duck hunt guns, it was a video game. i knew i wouldnt win and then i won, i shot the mouths first, 2 mouths.
school was over but some shit was going down outside. everyone had to gather in a centralized area, but it was like a roof again. there were odd stairways and those little sheds that are on buildings. i got there and tried to stand with some old high school buddies. they just moved on - where were my real friends? who could i associate myself with?
walking back to somewhere i asked chance what the deal was. he said since im always high, people don't think i understand whats going on. he left and as i walked still on to somewhere i saw tj and the rest of my old pals. i flipped them the bird and kept on going; they were leaning on a brick wall.
i stepped in some dog shit. i was barefoot and had shit on my foot and just kept walking to my jeep. i found a little puddle and splashed my foot around to get the wet yellow-brown shit off my foot. it looked like someone else had already tried this, or maybe a dog shit right in the puddle. but i still used the puddle to get as clean as i could.
i got in the jeep and was driving through a field by a power tower and some transformers. but the jeep had some red lights on the front of it - it kind of looked like a toy. i drove over some things, and feared for flat tires. once back on the street, i was happy to have all the mud flying off my tires. it makes a certain noise. i slowed down coming down a hill. an elderly lady being helped across the street told me to slow down. but i was stopped.
i got out and jacked up my front end with the hi-lift. there was an odd pressurized hose hanging in my drivers-side fender well. i removed the excess pressure and drained some kind of fluid from the end. then i secured the hose so that it would be clear of the suspension. i almost got in the jeep with it jacked up super high on the lift. i got out, and it took me forever to fold some kind of paper instructions. you know how its hard to fold up maps and stuff, to get the creases right. it was like a 'how to' guide for using a hi-lift jack. once i finally got it all folded up, it was a newspaper. the cover story was a woman who had caught a world record sized fish. the fish looked awfully prehistoric to me, with little front arms clutching a rock.