old self destruction

old

self

destruction

ticks

time to understand time
and its lengths, its spans; quick and infinite
probably not fully - not even when i die
even though i will know the entirety of human time then...

...for now, instantaneous gratification is ruining me
i see how soon works that much is clear
but longer is harder to conceive
as i age, longer becomes shorter
and as such, my ability to withstand times ticks increases

for now, seconds are days
i need days to be seconds
i will wait and wade waist deep
through time
until then
whenever then may be

i think youre crazy (so i said)

i finally attached the little blue bell to my bike.
i found it in the bike cage when i first moved here.
the attachment is broken.
so i duck-taped it on.
it makes a great bike bell ring sound.
riding in the dark on my way downtown, i rang the bell:
as i passed walkers.
as i passed valets.
or for no reason - i laughed out loud at the ring!

i met m.berg and j.kupsco at morrissey.
had a guiness and a 'buzzcock' sandwich.
smoked a cigarette out front.
some guy who couldnt speak english asked for a light.
he was well dressed and dark skinned.
he lit his smoke and walked off.
then he came back.
he mumbled about 'pussy' to me.
what dude?
mumble mumble 'pussy' mumble mumble.
so i said:
ask her -->
pointed at a girl walking by dressed to piss off her dad.
threw my half smoked cigarette in the street and walked off.

taylor and the rest of her band played the yale.
its like symbia version 2.0
they played that 'i think youre crazy' song.
i could relate.
i was invited by my neighbor.
she smoked two joints out back between sets.
i guess i smoked them with her.

i stopped at 7-11 for a fix on my way home.
jalepeno cheddar taquitos.
its almost midnight.
theyve been on those silver heat rollers ALL DAY.
(when i pull a 7-11 pitstop, i always just dump my bike out front.
i just ride up and get off and let it go.
like right in front of the sliding glass doors.
because my transaction wont take long.)
bums usually laugh about it.
i noticed my rear tire was still spinning as i payed for my taquitos.
when i came out, there was one bum.
i dug into my jeans coin pocket (i use it for coins here in canada)!
i asked him how he was doing.
'oh, not good man, theres this guy who wants to fight me..
..im not much of a fighter.. ..'
so i said:
fuck that guy, heres 4 dollars.
i rang my bike bell one more time.
then i rode home.

distant intensity

> gliding
>> suspended
>>> over the prairie fire
>>>> to land his only desire
>>>>> the intensity increases
>>>> watching her burn
>>> waiting to learn
>> suspension
> timing

the factory

okay.

final chicago

everything IS practices in the icey weather

red cedar

inspiring - western.
so was the band that opened the set; i bought them each a budweiser.
skipped the headliners, though.
how come budweiser is never on tap?
i dont think they liked it, but they drank it.
someday, if youre lucky, you can see all of my photographs.

now, random photographs --> leaving chicago:

too bad i own so much bullshit, wouldnt it be awesome to let it all go.

except maybe my records.. ..i almost won ugly casanova -sharpen your teeth today

i miss my plants.

i said, i miss my plants. travel bird cage.


16 non-stop solo driving hours later, january first, 2008, im in love with foothills, my wyoming foothills, i am glad i left on the first of the year it was monumental.