mr situps

tonite was our blackbox holiday party.
it was okay, pretty low key.
a beer and cake.

they did have the crustcut off the sandwiches, though!

a few friends came to my place after work.
we were going to a birthday party at 10pm.

we had some vodka, played some tony hawk ride, and drank beer.
we had some scotch, ate some pizza, and i played some guitar.
my songs were failures, i was drunk and intimidated.

we carried on.
i rolled a joint for the birthday boy.
then we left to go meet the birthday boy.

we smoked it when we got to where we were going.
i ordered a budweiser, but never payed.

then we went to some other pub joint.
i got a hotdog out front.
jalapeno cheddar.

there was a pretty happening band there.
they played some hypno-jazz, is what i'll call it.
pretty rad, i traded my ID for some darts.

we played darts and had a good time - all of us.
darts.

once i cheers'd my accountant and my bottle broke.
the tip of the bottle broke right off!
instant jewelry ring, again.
(this happened before)

time to go, they say.
we must leave.

kerry's coat is nowhere to be seen.
3 minutes of questioning.

he told me his parents gave him that coat.
a girl comes in asking, 'is someone missing a coat?'
then she dashes away.

i finished my beer and quickly followed her outside.
she hurried up to a taxi cab as its door closed.
i followed her and opened the door.

inside, a kleptomaniac clutched kerry's coat.
the good samaritan woman told the klepto to give it back.
i took back kerry's coat and saw that the klepto still had a glove.

'its my glove, this is MY glove!' she said.
the good samaratin said, 'give him the glove!'
i had checked the pockets, and found only one glove.

i took the glove back and kerry came outside.
he put his coat on and thanked me.
he had mistaken me for a hero!

the good samaritan lady was the hero.

__________________________

liberty ordered himself a hotdog.
we got to talking and kicked him in the balls.
he kicked me in the balls 2x as hard.

a fat well dressed man was just walking up.
he said, 'you let him kick you in the balls?'
i said, 'so what if i did, mr situps?'

he was upset and frustrated.
he walked to the front door and got a beefy man.
they came up to me.

the beefy man told me i owed the other man some respect.
i told him that he owed me respect as well.
the beefy man insisted that i appologize.

i was staring down two beefy men, one in a business suit.
they were angry with me and trying to suppress me with power.
one of them tried to make me buy a hot dog - WITH CHEESE~!

i told them that i had already had one - with cheese.
they said i had better tip the hot dog vendor.
then they said that they owned the pub.

i said i had a good time, and was thankful.
they stared me down, trying to intimidate.
eventually the owner buisinessman walked off.

we got in a cab and left.

later, we smoked a joint rolled in a peso.